Darwin to Broome The Kimberley Road Tour

Jun 25th - Jul 10th 2009

Wow! What an amazing tour. From the Kimberley Ranges, to Katherine Gorge, to the camel ride at sunset on Cable Beach... Just spectacular...Congratulations to all!

Check out image gallery 1 from the Kimberley Tour 2009

Check out image gallery 2 from the Kimberley Tour 2009

Check out image gallery 3 from the Kimberley Tour 2009

One of the cyclists on tour, Simon Woods, is swift with the pencil (or in this case his i phone). Simon's poem below captures the fun and adventure had on the Darwin to Broome 2009 Tour. Great work Simon, thanks!

Now if you're the type of cyclist,

Who thinks that it's Ok,

To boast how much you've sweated and,

Then suddenly segue,

To the colour of your urine,

Or the rash upon your bum,

Then you'll enjoy an alltrails trip,

You really ought to come

And if you're a Tassie tiger,

Who's never yet been stuffed,

Don't pass it up because you think,

It won't be hard enough,

You'll have Pat, the flying wombat,

Grimly sucking on your wheel,

And James the little dingo cub,

A yapping at your heels

And don't think that you're past it,

Don't accept the march of time,

Bill coached Hubert Opperman,

And still he's in his prime

And if you are a foreigner

Whose English skills are weak

Yes, we cope with Kiwis

As long as they don't bleat

And if like Boab Baz,

Your stomach's bigger than your eyes,

Susan's morning teas will stop you,

Dropping down a size

And for those who like their Gatorade,

At 56 degrees,

A top end ride with Phil

Will surely satisfy your needs

And if you're a bloke like Kenny

And toilets are your thing

There'll be bioloos and long drops

To make your senses sing

And nothing will prepare you when

Phil's dunny blows away

As you squat there contemplating

The ride ahead that day

You can sign on with the colonel,

If it's discipline you want,

She'll tell you how to draft

She'll tell you when to ride up front,

But the regiment's a tough place

Can't show weakness, can't show fear

family members don't get favours

Or so it would appear

Now if you're a cycling cheapskate

Maybe someone like Renee,

And buy your tyres second hand,

And threadbare on eBay,

Or if you pick up ancient bikes,

From neighbours' nature strips,

Then ride with Ben and Spencer,

'cos they got theirs at the tip

Like Robert and Amanda,

Maybe it's romance that you seek,

They thought about Tahiti or,

Perhaps a yacht off Greece,

But wisely chose an Alltrails trip,

They're hot and hard and risky,

And those long days on the bike seat

Just the way to keep you frisky.

Maybe you have a flat bar bike,

Think racers are a bore,

Join chainsaw Carl and Walter,

And just watch your pulse rate soar,

But a little word of warning,

Never make a Maltese cross,

Or he'll pitch his tent beside yours,

And that night you'll know who's boss

And if you're a cycling sheila,

with a road bike painted pink,

Or perhaps one of the Fab Four

And enjoy an evening drink

As you pull into the camp ground

With your badges on your chest,

Give thanks to Ernie 'cos he pulls

The cutest paceline in the west

if you're weighed down each day by,

Information overload

You want to shrug the shackles,

Destress, vamos - just hit the road

Don't worry that the briefings,

Will be too much mental strain

99% fact free,

They'll never overtax your brain

There could be days you do it tough,

Your arse is sore, your quads are stuffed,

And every mitochondria,

Has hit VO2 max

But just before all hope is gone,

It's Kirsten's van - the aircon's on,

Come in, she says - sit down - relax,

Since when have angels sported tatts?

And if your bike should fall apart,

And cause you consternation,

Don't worry, it just happens with

One billion corrugations

Greg and Pete will put it right,

I know this may sound weird,

But I reckon that they're conjoined twins

Or two men with one beard

So If the smell of cycling gloves,

Is pheremones to you,

You get off on chamois butter

And adore the taste of goo,

Then you're beyond redemption

And there's nothing wrong with that,

Just come and join an Alltrails ride

And give yourselves a clap

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